The 5 worst movies of all time. Again, just my opinion.

The last time we got together we talked about, (well, I talked about) my 5 favorite sports movies off all time.  A television show I really used to enjoy watching was Mystery Science Theater 3000.  The premise of all this was this regular, ordinary guy being held hostage on a space ship as a subject of an experiment.  He was forced to watch terrible, I mean really terrible science fiction movies and was being observed to see how long it would take to drive him insane.  Fortunately, he was able to find enough spare parts to build himself 3 robot friends to keep him company while he watched insanely bad movie after insanely bad movie.  Now it would be really easy to just go through some of the flicks they showed since they definitely qualified as terrible, (although I was always a big fan of "The Giant Gila Monster") but I also think I'm qualified to do my own list since I've wasted hundreds of dollars buying movie tickets only to walk out half way through the picture.  So here is my list in no particular order.
Starship Troopers:

This turd came out in 1997 and actually had something of a decent cast, including Casper Van Dien, Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Ironside and the delectable duo of Denise Richards and Dina Meyer.  Once you got past the eye candy however, you were left with nothing but a horrible script and a bunch of actors that appeared to be embarrassed to be seen in the movie.  Sometime, in the not so distant future, Earth is at war with the planet of Arachnids or simply referred to as the "bugs".  The bugs have been launching some sort of plasma weapons at the earth that will destroy an entire city when it hits.  Our heroes have been among thousands of soldiers shipping out in an intersteller armada to the bugs home planet to defeat them.  Only when they were able to capture the head honcho bug was the world safe from future plasma attacks.  The real downside to all of this was Dina Meyer being killed after only one nude scene.  Well, that and the fact that you dropped 8 bucks on the ticket.       
Stop or my mom will Shoot:

Sylvester Stallone claimed this was the worst movie he ever made.  Now what exactly remains to be said after something like this?  This is a guy that made 2 too many "Rambo" movies and at least 3 too many "Rocky" movies plus the forgettable "Cobra" and "Rhinestone".  Made in 1992 it included such stars as Jo Beth Williams, Estelle Getty and Ving Rhames.  The story line, such as it was is Stallone playing a cop whose mother (Getty) comes to live with him and immediately begins to take too much interest in his work.  Finally, in an effort to protect him when thugs come calling, she attempts to help him and winds up shooting him in the shoulder.  I've always thought that Sly's movies were best when he didn't attempt too much dialogue and sticks with running up a body count.  Speaking of running up body counts....
The Devil's Rejects:

This came out in 2005 and was written and directed by Rob Zombie and was the follow up to his 2003 effort "House of 1000 Corpses".  It follows a family of psychopathic killers on the run from the law after their carnage from film number 1.  Rob Zombie is an incredibly twisted man but somehow it works in his music.  While I never saw House of 1000 corpses, this was plenty.  Not much of anyone of note appears in the film except for character actor William Forsythe as Sheriff John Quincy Wydell who is obsessed with bringing down the family after they murdered his brother in the first flick.  The only other people of note were the 2 hit men he hired to find the family played by another character actor Danny Trejo and "Diamond" Dallas Page, former WCW wrestler.  Oh, and the younger sister of the family was played by Zombie's wife, Sherrie Moon Zombie as Baby Firefly.  
Battlefield Earth:

This came out in 2000 and was based on the book by L. Ron Hubbard, who is also the founder of the Scientology movement.  As a long time Scientologist, I suppose that the star and head of the alien invasion, John Travolta felt obligated to appear as did his wife, Kelly Preston in a small cameo.  The movie takes place in the year 3000.  One thousand years after an alien invasion conquered the planet in a bit over 30 minutes, mankind has been relegated to either slavery by the Psychlos or living like animals in hiding.  Despite this, they are able to band together and wipe out the occupiers by magically learning how to operate 1000 year old weaponry that was seemingly ineffective earlier despite being manned by military personel that were actually trained in how to use it.
Barb Wire:

Ok, I'm going to admit that Pam Anderson has some things going for her.  I can think of at least 2.  This came out in 1996 and was the movie that was supposed to launch Pam from "Baywatch" to the big screen.  Unfortunately all it did was confirm that fact that Pam's acting abilities consisted of looking really, really good while running across the sand wearing a bathing suit.  The film is set in 2017 during America's 2nd civil war.  The main character, is Anderson playing nightclub owner (wait for it) Barb Wire.  She's being pressured by crooked policemen to turn over any information about former contacts of hers that may or may not be developing some sort of bio-weapon.   I'd tell you more but frankly, this was another one that I couldn't stand sitting through for over about 45 minutes and you can't be expected to sort out this sort of a complex storyline in that short amount of time.
I have no idea what to talk about next time, but I'm thinking about idiotic fan bases.  Think I may find a way to include folks that wear giant foam corncob hats in that one?