Friday, October 23, 2009

A bit off-topic. Top 10 Cheerleading squads

If you've read many of my posts, (or really any for that matter) you know that one of my favorite parts of the event is the eye candy that patrols the sidelines.   Thinking about this last night during another attack of insomnia, I decided to list my top 10 talent of the sidelines.  This is strictly cheerleaders.  I didn't include the dance squads.  Basically, it's just an excuse to include photos of what I consider to be 10 of the most beautiful collections of young women our educational system has to offer.

#10, The University of Oregon.  How can you go wrong with a school that for over 50 years has used Donald Duck as their unofficial mascot?  A long time member of the Pac 10, they've recently been best known for their wild and wacky selection of uniforms.    However, I don't believe that the talent they've placed on the sidelines has gotten anywhere near the credit they deserve.  This is probably due to the fact that they reside in the same conference as both USC and UCLA, which you'll see later in this post.


#9, The University of South Carolina.  One thing you'll probably notice is that this blog will be pretty much dominated by the Pac 10 and the SEC.  I think the reason for that is really fairly easily explained.  It's area's where the weather is warmer, so naturally women wear less clothes.  There may be some fairly attractive women in the northern climates, but it's really hard to tell when they spend 9 months of the year wrapped in a parka.   South Carolina has drawn a lot more television time the last few years, particularly since they hired Steve Spurrier after his brief, failed NFL experience.  I always thought that they were horribly under rated even before that though.  There's just something about a collection of beautiful southern bells screaming, "Go Cocks!" in unison.

#8, The University of Texas.  I bet you thought they'd be higher didn't you?  Normally I'd have to agree that Texas, year in and out brings in top 5 talent.  However, much like Oklahoma football, they seem to be a bit down this year.  I remember year ago in an interview with Morgan Fairchild, (who definitely knows a thing or 2 about hotness) speculating that the reason so many beautiful women lived in Texas was due to all the money being made in the oil industry.  Her reasoning was the ability of the new millionaires to go out and hunt themselves beautiful women and then raise beautiful girls.  So I blame the downturn in their fortune this year to the energy crisis we were in back in the 70's and 80's.


#7, Ol' Miss.  Back to the SEC for this one.  Ol' Miss does things like nobody else.  We had the honor of playing the Rebels a few years back in a home and home and if ever given the chance again, I want to travel to "The Grove" to watch tailgating at it's finest.  Silk tablecloths and china and southern bells in sundresses.  They might not be on the hotness scale of the southern California girls, but they are definitely ones that you'd feel comfortable bringing home to meet your mom.


#6, Florida State.  Ok, so technically they really aren't cheerleaders.  They really aren't in their prime anymore and I'm not positive any of them ever attended Florida State.  But Jenn Sterger and the Florida State Cowgirls changed how we viewed college girls and football the same way the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders did for the NFL in the 70's.  We went from wholesome to slutty on just a few afternoons of watching the Cowgirls trying to outdo each other on who could fit the biggest implants into the skimpiest T shirts.  Too bad Jenn just couldn't deal with her 15 minutes of fame eventually ending.  Now she's been reduced to 2nd string status hanging out at USF games.  Like Brett Favre she just didn't realize when it was time to hang it up.


#5, University of Kentucky.  I believe that these girls have never been given the credit they deserve.  For one reason, their football team has never been consistantly good.  For another, despite the fact that the basketball team has been on television more than Cheers reruns, whenever they appear, the cameras are far too busy making sure we all know that yes, once again Ashley Judd is in attendance.  Now I'm certainly not going to be critical of any opportunity to show Ashley in a tight tee shift bouncing up and down in excitement, but come on.  Don't these girls deserve some credit for all the hard work they've put in?  I propose that come next March, we offer the viewer the opportunity to watch Ashley and this girl, one on one in some full contact mud wrestling.  It's definitely an idea whose time has come, in my opinion.


#4, Oklahoma State.  Surprised?  I doubt that you were if you've ever actually watched the a Cowboys game and had the opportunity to see their cheerleaders.  The problem with OSU is that the announcers have rarely taken the time to get their lips unattached to Boone Pickens butt or Dez Bryants schlong to show you where the real talent resides in the state of Oklahoma.  I actually went to school with a girl that after high school attended college in Stillwater.  When we met up again, 5 years after our respective college careers, well all I can say is that she learned more down there than simply doing a backflip.  Easily the most under rated talent in the Big XII and I urge you to catch a Cowboys game simply to view the sidelines.


#3,  University of Georgia.  My final stop in the SEC would have to be in Athens, home of Uga and the rest of the Georgia Bulldogs.  Once again, it's hard to top the perceived purity of these southern girls.  While it might seem that they'd be unable to say shit if they had a mouthful of it, you just know that they'd be a world of fun in tight jeans in the back of your pick up truck.  Daisey Dukes anyone?


#2, UCLA.  Now we're getting into the heavy hitters when it comes to cheerleaders.  The California girls have been legends clear back to the day that the Beach Boys first immortalized them in song.  I sometimes imagine that heaven would be an endless cycle of UCLA/USC football games with blond California girls bouncing up and down on the sidelines in tight sweaters.  Although the Bruins are much better known for their appearances at basketball games, we're close enough to basketball season for them to still appear in this top 10 list aren't we?  If you don't think so, then tough shit.  It's my damn list and I can include anyone I want.  Which brings us to their cross town rivals and my personal #1.


USC.  Where do we begin?  The girls that originally put the sweat into sweaters.  They were hot before hot wasn't cool.  While they might not be considered the brightest of the bunch, they remain the single biggest reason to watch college football today.  If there was only some way to get that damn USC fight song out of my head whenever they are on television.  Oh well, at least it's not "Boomer Sooner".


I imagine you're surprised that a homer like me didn't include the Missouri cheerleaders.  I certainly considered it, and still managed to find a way to include some of Mid Missouri's finest talent.  Had this blog included dance teams, then I'd probably have rated the Tigers in the top 3.  I don't care how sweet a southern drawl a girl has, nor how good she looks in a tight sweater.  It's hard to discuss beautiful women without the Golden Girls.  

 
 

2 comments:

  1. Good work. But Oregon should have been top 5. Damn!

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  2. I disagree with adding Jen Sterger, but am pretty good with everything else. Oh, and the other guy is right. Oregon should have been ranked higher.

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